Bored out of my mind.
Well, maybe not that bad.
But I'm at work, and I do not want to do anything. I mean, nothing work related at all is even remotely interesting to me. I suppose if someone came in and asked me a question, I would engage, but I've been off the desk for most of the afternoon and haven't felt like doing a thing.
Well, last night I was talking to my sister about graduate school. She's planning to go, starting in the fall of 2005, for some kind of history degree. (Medieval history, I believe.) Anyway, I'm all jealous and stuff. My graduate school experience was not fantastic. I kept comforting myself by saying, it's a professional degree. But I was kind of bummed by it.
And now I'm living somewhere far from home, where I don't really know that many people. And it's hard to make new friends and everything. I have some at the library and church, but I'm not real sure where else to go. And I'm hoping to not be here real long anyway, so sometimes I think to myself, why bother?
The job doesn't exactly thrill me either. I think it's better than some of the departments here, but Maryland doesn't get me going at all. (I think even if I worked in a Wisconsin Department I would probably have some of the same "eh?" feelings towards my job.)
I don't really want to be here, but I need to have a job. I think about all the things I would like to do -- like go back to school and get a job at a university. And the fact that while I do enjoy being a librarian, is this really something I want to do for the rest of my life? Sometimes the answer is yes and other times I'm just not sure. Now I know I've only been working for a little over six months, and I should just hang on for a year or so before I start deciding that I want to do something stupid, like move across the country to pursue a master's degree in children's literature.
Oy. I just wish I knew what I want to do when I grow up.